New Babies and New Moms... Part 1

Today's article come from Yahoo Voices and I couldn't have said this better myself! There are so many things that people forget to tell/warn new moms about... Important Things! I hope you new moms and moms of new babies enjoy this article and take note because all of this is true. Much Love, Bridget!

New Mom Facts: The Real Stuff Every New Mom Should Know

...But No One Ever Tells You

By Lindsay Maddox, Contributing Editor for voices.yahoo.com

You did it! You made it through 9 months of pregnancy! You realized everything I said in my Pregnancy Facts: The Real Stuff Expecting Mothers Should Know was true (I told ya!), and now you have your little one in your arms. The hard part is over, right? Oh-so-wrong, sister! It has only just begun. The good news is that you're a totally different person now, you're a mom! The bad news is that you're a totally different person now, you're a mom.

New Mom Facts About Your Body

New Mom Fact: Your belly is going to look shockingly similar to an elephant's booty for a while.

Where only days ago you had a beautiful bulging belly, you now have a still-pregnant-looking sac of mush. It isn't cute, but it will get better. As your uterus shrinks, your stomach will return to almost-normal, and if you make an effort, it will probably go back to normal too. And those stretch marks will shrink and fade, just give it a little time. It isn't a pleasant new mom fact, but it's the truth.

New Mom Fact: Your body has just been put through the ringer.

Regardless of how your little bundle entered the world, your body is been pushed, pulled, and stretched beyond its normal means. Take it easy, and let yourself recover. About a week after my 2nd c-section I found myself feeling as if I had been hit by a Mack truck. I later discovered that it had taken a lot of pushing on my abdomen and stretching of my incision to get my little girl out. No wonder I felt so awful! As a part of this new mom fact, if you are given pain relievers, take them, especially if you've had surgery. You will feel much more miserable if you're in pain, than being a little groggy from some pain killers. If you have just given birth to your little one via c-section, then this article on C-Section Recovery Tips will definitely help you out.

New Mom Fact: Your wardrobe completely changes.

Throughout your pregnancy your hips have expanded and your feet may have even grown. You may also have a tummy pooch that will not go away, no matter how hard you try. This may leave you with a completely different body than you had before. For me, even after losing all of my baby weight and getting down to a size I hadn't seen since middle school, I still didn't fit into clothes like I used to. This was cause for my wardrobe to change, but my attire also changed in another way. As a stay-at-home-mom I find myself living in sweatpants and tank-tops, jeans and tee shirts. I don't invest in anything that costs more than $30 because everything I own is guaranteed to get puked and pooped on, and otherwise completely stained and destroyed by messy little fingers. There's nothing better than a toddler who, seconds earlier, had his hands up to his elbows in spaghetti noodles and sauce, runs up and tugs on my shirt. (Might I suggest keeping a stock of Spray 'N Wash in your laundry room?)

New Mom Facts About Your Mind

New Mom Fact: Your worrying has only just begun.

You worried through the first trimester about miscarriage, and the rest of the pregnancy about losing the baby for one reason or another. You worried about the delivery. You worried (and maybe still worry) about whether or not you'll be a good mom. These worries are only just the icing on the cake! Since you're a mom now, I don't need to rattle off a list of all of the things you will be worrying about through the years, but know that you're never going to stop being concerned for your baby. I hear this is true even when your baby is grown up and moved away! Embrace your worrying, mama. Because worrying is what makes you a good mom. Just don't over-do the worrying, okay?

New Mom Fact: You're stronger than you think.

There was a time when you could decide exactly what you wanted to deal with. There was a time when you could say, "Nah, this is not worth my time or energy," and move on. Now that you're a mom, there is very little that you can avoid dealing with. Lets say your child poos all over herself and anything in sight. Do you leave the mess? Nope, because you want your baby clean, and you know that leaving the poo now will only mean having to clean it up later, when it's even nastier. Or, how about this scenario: Your little cherub is crying and won't stop no matter what you try to do. Do you run away and say, "I can't do this anymore, I quit!" No, you don't. You will feel like doing that many, many times. You may even fantasize about it (especially if you're dealing with PPD), but you will ultimately put your baby down in the crib to cry for a bit, close the door, and take a breather. You'll re-enter the room knowing that you are strong and you can handle this. Do you know why? Because you are a mom, and a darn good one at that.

New Mom Fact: You can still have PPD, even after your baby turns one

PPD is a yucky thing, and many moms don't realize they have it for quite a while. I wasn't diagnosed with PPD until my daughter was 8 months old, some moms don't realize it until after their baby turns one. But, if you feel like there is any chance that you may be suffering from PPD, please talk to your doctor. They will not think you're crazy and they won't take your baby away because you've been having really weird thoughts. Your doctor is on your side and wants you to get help, but you need to take the step and make an appointment. 

New Mom Fact: Sometimes you just have to put the baby down and walk away.

You waited so long to hear that first cry, that first sign of life from your baby. But now he won't stop crying and it's driving you insane. If you've tried everything and you just can't handle that piercing sound anymore, please put your baby down in a safe place and walk away for a minute. Consider it your Mommy Timeout. Your baby is going to be okay, he isn't going to die, and you will get some time to take a breath and calm yourself down. When you're tired, emotional, and have all those crazy hormones playing games with your body, it is so easy to snap, even at a baby. Someone once put it this way, "You know how we have bad days and we just want to cry? Well, maybe your baby is just having a bad day and needs to get those tears out to feel better." That probably doesn't make any rational sense, but somehow it helped me put the whole thing in perspective.

New Mom Facts About Your Relationships

New Mom Fact: Your friendship circle will change.

You will begin to notice toxic friends and realize that there are so many more important things in life than to worry about drama and deal with draining friendships. These relationships will either fall by the wayside or end abrubtly, but either way, it will be for the better. You may also begin to see a huge gap forming between the relationships of your single or childless friends. The truth is, though they may support and love you, they will not fully understand what you're feeling and going through. This doesn't mean that you should write these good friends off completely. On the contrary, after you are comfortable leaving your baby for a while, make a date for a girl's night out with these friends and enjoy yourself. Don't be surprised if at some point you start talking about your baby's poop, though. I swear, it happens without us moms even realizing it.

New Mom Fact: Your relationship with your husband will change.

Having a baby changes everything, and sometimes not for the better. You and your husband or significant other may have an amazing relationship, but even the strongest ties are tested when a baby is born. Sleepless nights, a colicky baby, trying to figure out a schedule, healing from delivery, attempting to maintain some cleanliness to your house... it's all a lot for anyone to take. It will take a while to figure out your new relationship as mom and dad of your precious bundle. But, you have to be proactive. Talk to your spouse about how you're feeling. Let them know when you are stressed or exhausted, but do so in a loving way, taking ownership for your feelings. Try not to accuse your spouse of causing them by saying, "You stress me out," or "You never listen." Those statements almost always lead to a lovely fight.

After you have figured out some semblance of a routine with your baby, schedule a date night for you and your hubby. Even if you don't leave the house, pop in a movie and eat popcorn, play Yahtzee, or sip some wine. Anything to spark some of that romance that you felt for each other before the baby was born. After all, your relationship is incredibly important to your baby's happiness and well-being. Be sure to nurture it to keep it strong and loving.

New Mom Fact: You may not fall in love with your baby right away.

After our daughter was born, I asked my husband repeatedly if she was ours. I asked him if he was sure that he saw them put her identification band on her ankle. She just didn't feel like mine. I didn't feel that strong sense of attachment to her that I currently felt for my 2 year old. But wouldn't that make sense? I grew to know him for the last 2 years, and learned his quirks and personality. For all intents and purposes, my baby girl was a stranger to me, and I, to her. We had to get to know each other a little bit before I truly fell in love. And boy did I fall. Hard.

The Most Important New Mom Fact: You can't do it all alone.

There are no gold stickers in motherhood. You don't get a cash bonus, or even a pat on the back for doing it all yourself, so if you need help, ask for it! It does not make you less of a wife or mom. Don't be afraid to tell your hubby that you just can't get to the dishes or laundry. Don't hesitate to put visitors to work if they offer to help. They wouldn't offer if they didn't truly want to help you out, so take them up on it. And if your house is messy for a while, don't worry about it. You have more important things to focus on right now.