New Babies and New Moms... Part 4

I'm not going to leave dads out on this whole new baby thing, cause it does affect them too! I found this article on bootcampfornewdads.org and thought it would be a great addition to our New Babies and New Moms series. I think a lot of times that dads do get overlooked in the new baby experiences, because everyone is so focused on mom. I hope this article helps to give dad a little bit of spotlight because her deserves it and also that it helps moms to realize what a dad needs to succeed as a great father! Much Love, Bridget!

What New Moms Need To Know

 About New Dads

1. New moms have a huge array of information and support, including their friends, mate, family, the healthcare system, entire media and retail sectors, etc. New dads have you.

2. Mothers are the most important factor in a father’s involvement with his baby. You can facilitate it or hinder it, especially in the months surrounding the birth when a new dad’s motivation peaks.
   
3. If you back off on doing everything with the baby and expect him to do his part, he will. Encourage him to get out of the house with his baby on his own.
   
4. Men thrive on respect, confidence and love, and despite it being the ultimate rite of manhood, all are in short supply as we become fathers. Focus on respect for what he does right. It will build his confidence and show you love him.
   
5. Dads bring a whole unique set of strengths to raising kids and are one of the best brain development toys possible. Instead of turning dad into an assistant mom, encourage him to do it his way. Your baby will thrive on the difference.
   
6. Having our child smile and get excited when they see us, and knowing we are there for them when they need us, feeds our souls as men. With experience, his confidence will build, his instincts will kick in, and he will start feeling like a real dad. It just takes longer than with moms.
   
7. It’s not about sex, it’s about love. New moms naturally and dramatically shift their energy, attention, intimacy and love from dad to their baby. If mom is not happy with dad, and a new baby generates conflict, the loss in your relationship is more dramatic. Even if you don’t feel like sex, he still needs to feel the love.
   
8. OK, it is partly about sex, but we don’t buy the notion that more vacuuming would result in more sex. If so, we would have an entire dad subculture built around supercharging vacuums. Imagine a Dyson with 500 horse power. Focus on the love and the sex will handle itself.
   
9. You are well ahead of him on the new parent learning curve, so bring him along as your partner in caring for your baby. Once things settle down, refocus on your relationship. This will pay off in terms of the dad you want for your baby and the mate you want for yourself.
   

10. The more he brings your child into his life, the more balance you get in your life. Dad too. When mom gets more balance, dad gets more of mom. Everybody lives happily ever after.

Bonus Points for great moms: Our research finds that 98.2% of babies like to watch football on TV with dad, which promotes spatial integration and emotional expression in a baby’s mind. Due to an infant’s developing eyesight, we recommend a big screen TV. 

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