Summer Guidelines... Part 3

Today we will focus on water safety... This is something that I can not express enough, WATCH YOUR KIDS! Things can happen in a blink of an eye. Never go inside to just grab something right quick, never allow them to go ahead and get in and you will meet them there, always supervise your little ones.

 This past weekend my daughter was swimming with older kids in an extremely shallow pool (2ft deep) and my friends were laughing because I still made my 4yr old wear water wings. I explained that I felt she is still too young to understand that she can't do everything the older kids do and I didn't trust that the older kids understood that she couldn't do everything they did. It is just simple precautions that can make a huge difference in the safety of your child. This article comes from stlouischildrens.org and I think that have some great water safety tips. Much Love, Bridget!

Summer Water Safety

Stlouischildrens.org

Virtually every child looks forward to summertime. School is out, the weather is great, and many get together for fun in the sun by playing in and around water. As parents, we try to encourage this type of fun but must also be mindful that it can be potentially very dangerous. For this reason, it’s important to know what types of precautions to take and what every parent needs to be aware of in terms of keeping their children safe in the water.

Despite a significant decline in childhood drowning deaths from 1987 to 2001, it still remains the second leading cause of death related to injuries among 1-14 year olds. In fact, when compared to motor vehicles, a swimming pool is fourteen times more likely to be involved in the death of children 5 years old or younger. Unfortunately, this health hazard is amongst the most preventable of injury-related accidents among children.

So, what can you do to help keep your children safe around water?

Swimming Pools

            There is no substitute for a 4-sided fence. This has been shown to be the most effective method in preventing accidental drowning among infants and toddlers, preventing up to 50% of drownings. Remember the rule of 4’s. 4 sides. 4 feet high. Using the side of a house as a 4^th side is NOT acceptable. It must not be able to be climbed by children, it must have a self-closing or self-latching gate that is above the reach of children, and it must not have any items nearby that would allow children to climb up (furniture, rocks, etc.). Also keep in mind that this safety precaution is not only for your children but for others in the neighborhood as well.

            Pool covers, door alarms, and pool alarms work well in conjunction with fences but they are NOT a substitute for a 4-side pool fence.

            NEVER leave your child alone inside or anywhere near a pool. Use the “touch” rule. In other words, no child should be further away than an arm’s length at any time (can always be touched).

            Keep toys away from the swimming pool when not being used

            Keep in mind that most young children that drowned in pools had last been seen inside the home, were out of sight for less than 5 minutes, and had either one or both parents at home when it happened. In other words, no one expects accidents or drownings to happen and they can occur when you least expect it.

            Air-filled or foam flotation devices and toys are NOT a substitute for life jackets. They are not meant to be used as safety devices.

Natural Bodies of Water

            -Be aware of weather conditions wherever you might be 

            -Life jackets while boating are a must, even for those who know how to swim. 

           - Alcohol is a major risk factor for drowning among adolescents. You cannot provide enough education about this to your teenagers 

            -Encourage adolescents to learn CPR. This also can’t be emphasized enough. 

           - If at the beach, follow all posted signs and flags. Do not underestimate bad weather, dangerous waves, or rip currents. 

General Water Safety

           - Learn CPR. This bears repeating. Anyone and everyone capable of learning CPR should do so.

           - Bathtubs, buckets, pails, toilets, hot tubs, ponds, and other seemingly safe areas with water are potentially dangerous. Children can drown in as little as 1-2 inches of water. Don’t leave buckets filled with water. Don’t allow young children to have access to bathrooms unattended. Keep infants and toddlers under immediate (touch) supervision at all times

           - Keep thermostats set below 120ºF to prevent accidental burns

            -Children under 4 years of age are not developmentally ready for swimming lessons. -This is NOT a recommended tool to prevent drowning. On the flipside, all children 4 years of age or older should learn how to swim.

There are many, many resources available for parents and children regarding water safety. I know as parents we are often overwhelmed with large amounts of information to know about various ways to keep our children safe. Trying to stay informed about everything can indeed be burdensome. This is why I wrote about this topic as it involves many children over the course of the summer months, is highly preventable, and can be achieved by following a few simple guidelines. Click through the links below to stay informed and receive additional information and details that were not covered above. Please be sure to also share this with other parents you know to help spread awareness. There aren’t many things more devastating than losing a child during a “fun” activity that can happen so quickly even with parents being immediately present. I hope this helps you or someone you know in preventing a tragic accident.

Summer Guidelines... Part 2

Sunscreen and skin care is something that is near and dear to my heart. I am a skin cancer survivor! I have a 1 inch scar behind my right ear as a daily reminder to apply sunscreen. In 2007, I had a nickel size spot removed from behind my ear to shock me into reality that skin cancer is real. I now have sunscreen in my car, in my bag, in my bathroom and anywhere else I can find to stash it. My daughter who is 4 even knows that we don't go outside without our sunscreen on. This is one thing that parents can do and should do to protect their children and themselves from the sun. I found this article on WedMD.com that has some great tips for sun safety! Much Love, Bridget!

Summer Sun Protection for kids

Brush up on Sunscreen and Sun Protection in Infants through Middle School-aged Kids.

By Kelli Miller Stacy

WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Laura J. Martin, MD

Lazy days at the pool or beach are warm weather rituals for many families. But if you're tempted to let your child play outdoors for even a few minutes without the proper sun protection, you might want to think twice.    

"It only takes one severe sunburn to potentially double your child's chances of getting melanoma later in life," says Andrea Cambio, MD, FAAD, a board-certified pediatric dermatologist in Cape Coral, Fla. "We really need to buckle down and protect our young."

Keeping your kids safe in the sun is simple and can be fun. Here's how.

Slather on the Sunblock – No Exceptions

Remember how much you marveled at your baby's smooth skin? Don't let the sun destroy that beautiful canvas. Ultraviolet sunlight damages the skin, and can lead to wrinkles and cancers later on. There is no such thing as a healthy tan; a tan is a sign of sun damage.   

Always put sunscreen on your child before going outside, starting at 6 months of age. Make a fun game out of it. Teach your child to spell BEENS to help you remember to cover often-forgotten spots: Back of knees, Ears, Eye area, Neck, and Scalp.  

Apply sunscreen 15 to 30 minutes before going outside, and reapply every 2 hours, sooner if the child has been swimming. Water-resistant sunscreen wears off -- check the label to see how soon you'll need to reapply.

If your child attends school or daycare, make sure teachers are told to apply sunscreen before any outdoor activities.

Choose a Child-Friendly Sunscreen

Can't decide which sunscreen is best for your child? WebMD asked Cambio and pediatrician Jerome A. Paulson, MD, FAAP, medical director for national and global affairs at the Child Health Advocacy Institute of Children's National Medical Center in Washington, D.C., for some child-friendly recommendations.

Their No. 1 tip: Choose a sunscreen that contains zinc oxide or titanium dioxide, because the compounds are less irritating than others and do not get absorbed into the skin. "These ingredients are probably the safest ones out there right now," Paulson says. 

There is some concern that other sunscreen ingredients, particularly oxybenzone and retinyl palmitate (a form of vitamin A), may cause harm. However, both chemicals are FDA approved for use in sunscreens.

Other tips: 

•                Opt for a sunscreen with a sun protection factor (SPF) or 30 or higher.

•                Make sure it's labeled "broad spectrum," which means it blocks both UVA and UVB sunlight.

•                Let your child choose a colored or scented sunscreen. Nix this idea if your child has sensitive skin or an allergic skin disorder, such as eczema.

•                Sunscreen sticks are best for the face because they are sweat proof and less likely to drip.

Cambio likes spray-on sunscreens for kids because they are easy to apply. Cover your child's face while spraying, or have him make a funny face or hold his breath for five seconds

Cover Up Head to Toe

Sunscreen is only part of sun safety. Paulson recommends staying inside from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., when the sun's rays are strongest.

Clothing can also help. "The best sun protection is something that completely blocks the sun from getting to the skin, which is clothing if you're not inside a building," Paulson says.

But forget about tossing on a flimsy, white tee. A white T-shirt has limited protective value. If you can see through the tee, the sun can shine through and burn you. Dark, tight-woven clothing that covers all exposed skin is best.  

You can also buy clothing that is specially treated with chemicals that help protect against ultraviolet sunlight. Cambio recommends sun-protective clothing, such as a kid's swim shirt or rash guard shirt, with an ultraviolet protection factor (UPF) of 30 or higher. The clothing loses its UPF strength after several washings, so check the labels for care instructions.

Don't want to buy new clothes? The Skin Cancer Foundation recommends SunGuard, a laundry additive that contains a sunscreen called Tinosorb FD. Toss it in the wash, and your clothes instantly get a UPF of 30. The protection lasts about 20 washings.

Wear a Hat

Have your child take a tip from Barney and wear a silly hat outside. Take your child hat shopping, but be sure to purchase a hat with a wide brim that casts a shadow on the face. Too old for Barney? Look for a favorite sports team or school logo.

Another outdoors must-have: Sunglasses. They are an important part of sun protection and recommended for kids of all ages. Make sure they filter both UVB and UVA rays.

Two-year-old Anna Cheever never goes outside without her sunglasses and hat. She's worn a hat since birth, and nowadays will remind her mom if she forgets.

"I want it to be second nature for her to put on a hat and sunscreen every time she goes outside," says Kara Cheever, a teacher in suburban Atlanta. "I hope that she continues to follow the good sun care habits that we practice together." Being a role model, is vital to helping your kids establish healthy sun habits. If they see you skipping the sunscreen, working on a tan, or forgoing a hat, chances are they will do so, too.

Soothing a Sunburn

If your child gets sunburn, and is active, playful, and does not have any blisters, here's how you can make him feel better.

•                Place a cool compress to the sunburn.

•                Apply aloe gel to the burned skin. Try placing the aloe in the fridge for a few minutes first before using.  

•                Give acetaminophen or ibuprofen. Check with your doctor for the correct dose.  

•                Give your child plenty of fluids.

Do not use over-the-counter pain relieving products containing benzocaine on sun-burned skin. (These are called topical anesthetics.) They can often make the pain worse, and some people are allergic to the ingredient.

If your child feels or looks ill, spikes a fever, or has blisters, seek medical attention.

Summer Guidelines...

After spending the weekend on the water and outside I realized that I may not be completely prepared for Summer... it seems that summer has snuck up on me! Which made me think, had it snuck up on other mommies? I am going to focus this week on Summer preparedness and summer guidelines. Today we will focus on the dreaded bathing suit, YUCKERS... I know! I found this article on www.realsimple.com and thought it fits most women. Much Love, Bridget!

Find the Best Bathing Suit for Your Shape

Expert advice on how to find the best bathing suits for large chests, straight figures, and other body types.  

By Yolanda Wikiel

Now that designers have finally wised up to the fact that we don’t all hail from Brazil, they’re offering suits that look good on real women with real issues. Real Simple consulted designers, boutique owners, competitive swimmers, and others to compile tips to help you find the best bathing suit for your body type.


Bathing Suits for Large Chests

What to look for: Underwire is key, but wide or adjustable straps, boning, seamed cups, and sturdy linings help lift the chest, too. Other ancillary support features, like high necklines, full coverage at the armholes, or halters with wide bands under the breasts, also help. And embrace the bikini: “In some cases, a two-piece is actually better, because you have a band of support all the way around the back,” says Linda Sassoon, president of Gottex USA.

What to avoid: Skimpy styles that gape open or lack structure, like triangle tops.

See some of the season’s best bathing suits for you, if you have a large chest.


Bathing Suits for Full Hips and Thighs

What to look for: A suit with eye-catching details above the waist―a pop of color, a deep neckline, hardware―to lure attention to your upper half. Down below, opt for an arched leg line that hits about an inch south of the hip bone. A skirted bottom also hides hips, says Ilene Sofferman, manager of Canyon Beachwear, in New York City. An A-line cut, a slit, or ruched sides keep the look modern.

What to avoid: Boy shorts, one-pieces with side cutouts, and bottoms with embellishments, especially ring hardware (which can pinch the skin).

See some of the season’s best bathing suits for you, if you have full hips and thighs.


Bathing Suits for a Tummy

What to look for: Designs that skim over the middle (think A-line tankinis) or suits that have ruched or textured fabric or built-in control panels to suck in an ample midsection. And, no, you don’t have to shy away from all bikinis, says Kari Rubin, owner of the Sunsplash Swimwear boutique, in San Diego. “Choose styles with high waistbands that are shirred or folded to give you more coverage.”

What to avoid: Tight-fitting tankinis, belt detailing, and low-rise or string bottoms.

See some of the season’s best bathing suits for you, if you have a tummy.


Bathing Suits for a Straight Figure

What to look for: Three-dimensional details―ruffles, rings, shirring, padding―and bold prints can make a straight body look more curvaceous, says Pamella Protzel Scott, creative director for the swimwear line Ella Moss Isla: “Bottoms with embellishments bring attention to the hips and create a waistline.”

What to avoid: Designs that reinforce straight lines with vertical stripes or harsh square necklines, or anything completely solid and free of texture or accents.

See some of the season’s best bathing suits for you, if you have a straight figure.

New Babies and New Moms... Part 4

I'm not going to leave dads out on this whole new baby thing, cause it does affect them too! I found this article on bootcampfornewdads.org and thought it would be a great addition to our New Babies and New Moms series. I think a lot of times that dads do get overlooked in the new baby experiences, because everyone is so focused on mom. I hope this article helps to give dad a little bit of spotlight because her deserves it and also that it helps moms to realize what a dad needs to succeed as a great father! Much Love, Bridget!

What New Moms Need To Know

 About New Dads

1. New moms have a huge array of information and support, including their friends, mate, family, the healthcare system, entire media and retail sectors, etc. New dads have you.

2. Mothers are the most important factor in a father’s involvement with his baby. You can facilitate it or hinder it, especially in the months surrounding the birth when a new dad’s motivation peaks.
   
3. If you back off on doing everything with the baby and expect him to do his part, he will. Encourage him to get out of the house with his baby on his own.
   
4. Men thrive on respect, confidence and love, and despite it being the ultimate rite of manhood, all are in short supply as we become fathers. Focus on respect for what he does right. It will build his confidence and show you love him.
   
5. Dads bring a whole unique set of strengths to raising kids and are one of the best brain development toys possible. Instead of turning dad into an assistant mom, encourage him to do it his way. Your baby will thrive on the difference.
   
6. Having our child smile and get excited when they see us, and knowing we are there for them when they need us, feeds our souls as men. With experience, his confidence will build, his instincts will kick in, and he will start feeling like a real dad. It just takes longer than with moms.
   
7. It’s not about sex, it’s about love. New moms naturally and dramatically shift their energy, attention, intimacy and love from dad to their baby. If mom is not happy with dad, and a new baby generates conflict, the loss in your relationship is more dramatic. Even if you don’t feel like sex, he still needs to feel the love.
   
8. OK, it is partly about sex, but we don’t buy the notion that more vacuuming would result in more sex. If so, we would have an entire dad subculture built around supercharging vacuums. Imagine a Dyson with 500 horse power. Focus on the love and the sex will handle itself.
   
9. You are well ahead of him on the new parent learning curve, so bring him along as your partner in caring for your baby. Once things settle down, refocus on your relationship. This will pay off in terms of the dad you want for your baby and the mate you want for yourself.
   

10. The more he brings your child into his life, the more balance you get in your life. Dad too. When mom gets more balance, dad gets more of mom. Everybody lives happily ever after.

Bonus Points for great moms: Our research finds that 98.2% of babies like to watch football on TV with dad, which promotes spatial integration and emotional expression in a baby’s mind. Due to an infant’s developing eyesight, we recommend a big screen TV. 

If you like my Blog, then help a Mommy out by voting for me on Top Mommy Blogs. Just click on the little lady below. You can vote daily! Thanks and much love!!

New Babies and New Moms... Part 3

Today I will focus on Postpartum Depression... many moms are afraid or embarrassed to admit that something just doesn't feel right after childbirth. This is suppose to be the happiest time of their life and should be enjoying every minute of it, but their not. A lot of times things go unnoticed and moms never get the help that they need,  but this shouldn't be the case. Postpartum depression is not something we as moms should be afraid to admit... it happens and it can be fixed and you can go back to your happy life. I hope this article from FamilyDoctor.org sheds some light for moms that just can't seem to shake the blues. Please talk to someone! Much Love, Bridget.

Postpartum Depression

Are mood changes common after childbirth?

Yes. After having a baby, many women have mood swings. One minute they feel happy, the next minute they start to cry. They may feel a little depressed, have a hard time concentrating, lose their appetite or find that they can't sleep well even when the baby is asleep. These symptoms usually start about 3 to 4 days after delivery and may last several days.

If you're a new mother and have any of these symptoms, you have what are called the baby blues. The baby blues are considered a normal part of early motherhood and usually go away within 10 days after delivery.

What is postpartum depression?

Some womens have more severe symptoms of the baby blues or symptoms that last longer than a few days. This is called postpartum depression. Postpartum depression is an illness, like diabetes or heart disease.

Symptoms

What are the symptoms of postpartum depression?

The symptoms of postpartum depression affect your quality of life and include:

• Feeling sad or down often
• Frequent crying or tearfulness
• Feeling restless, irritable or anxious
• Loss of interest or pleasure in life
• Loss of appetite
• Less energy and motivation to do things
• Difficulty sleeping, including trouble falling asleep, trouble staying asleep or sleeping more than usual
• Feeling worthless, hopeless or guilty
• Unexplained weight loss or gain
• Feeling like life isn't worth living
• Showing little interest in your baby

Although many women get depressed right after childbirth, some women don't begin to feel depressed until several weeks or months later. Depression that occurs within 6 months of childbirth may be postpartum depression.

In rare cases, a woman may develop postpartum psychosis. This is a very serious disease and includes all the symptoms of postpartum depression and thoughts of hurting yourself or hurting the baby. If you have thoughts of hurting yourself or your baby, get help immediately.

How long does postpartum depression last?

It varies for each woman. Some women feel better within a few weeks, but others feel depressed or "not themselves" for many months. Women who have more severe symptoms of depression or who have had depression in the past may take longer to get well. Just remember that help is available and that you can get better.

Causes & Risk Factors

Why do women get postpartum depression?

The exact cause isn't known. Hormone levels change during pregnancy and right after childbirth. Those hormone changes may produce chemical changes in the brain that play a part in causing depression.

Feeling depressed doesn't mean that you are a bad person, that you did something wrong or that you brought this on yourself.

Who gets postpartum depression?

Postpartum depression is more likely if you have had any of the following:

• Previous postpartum depression
• Depression not related to pregnancy
• Severe premenstrual syndrome (PMS)
• A difficult or very stressful marriage or relationship
• Few family members or friends to talk to or depend on
• Stressful life events during pregnancy or after childbirth (such as as severe illness during pregnancy, premature birth or a difficult delivery)

Treatment

What kinds of treatments help with postpartum depression?

Postpartum depression is treated much like any other depression. Support, counseling ("talk therapy") and medicines can all help. Talk with your doctor about what treatment is best for you.

If I'm breastfeeding, can I take an antidepressant?

If you take an antidepressant medicine, it will go into your breast milk. Talk to your doctor about the risks of taking an antidepressant while breastfeeding. Your doctor can decide which medicine you can use while nursing your baby.

What can I do to help myself?

If you have given birth recently and are feeling sad, blue, anxious, irritable, tired or have any of the other symptoms of postpartum depression, remember that many other women have had the same experience. You're not "losing your mind" or "going crazy" and you shouldn't feel that you just have to suffer through. Here are some things you can do that other mothers with postpartum depression have found helpful:

• Find someone to talk to and tell that person about your feelings.
• Get in touch with people who can help you with child care, household chores and errands. This social support network will help you find time for yourself so you can rest.
• Find time to do something for yourself, even if it's only 15 minutes a day. Try reading, exercising (walking is great for your health and is easy to do), taking a bath or meditating.
• Keep a diary. Every day, write down your emotions and feelings. This is a way to let out your thoughts and frustrations. Once you begin to feel better, you can go back and reread your diary. This will help you see how much better you are.
• Even if you can only get one thing done on any given day, remember that this is a step in the right direction. There may be days when you can't get anything done, but try not to get angry with yourself when this happens.
• It's okay to feel overwhelmed. Childbirth brings many changes and parenting is challenging. When you're not feeling like yourself, these changes can seem like too much to cope with.
• You're not expected to be a "supermom." Be honest about how much you can do, and ask other people to help you when you need it.
• Find a support group in your area. They can put you in touch with people near you who have experience with postpartum depression.
• Talk with your doctor about how you feel. He or she may offer counseling and/or medicines that can help.

Other Organizations

Questions to Ask Your Doctor

• I thought I’d feel differently after giving birth. Are my feelings normal?
• Do my symptoms indicate postpartum depression?
• What treatment option do you recommend for me? Do I need medicine?
• I’m breastfeeding. Is this treatment safe for the baby?
• How long before I can expect relief from my symptoms?
• What can I do at home to help relieve my symptoms?
• What should I do if my symptoms don’t get better, or if I feel like I might hurt myself or my baby?
• If I have another baby, what are my chances of having postpartum depression again?

Source

FamilyDoctor.org   -Postpartum Major Depression: Detection and Treatment by C. Neill Epperson, M.D.

New Babies and New Moms... Part 2

A New Baby doesn't mean always mean 1st baby... How adding a new baby to your family can affect your other children. This article comes from med.umich.edu and has a lot of great pointers on how to help your children adjust to new babies. In all of the excitement of a new baby sometimes our past babies can feel slighted or left out. I hope this article helps to prepare them for what is to come and to be expected once the new bundle of joy arrives. Much love, Bridget

New Baby Sibling

Helping Your Older Child (or Children) Adjust

By: Kyla Boyse, R.N.

What do I need to know about adding a new baby into our family? 
Sibling rivalry usually starts right after, (or even before) the arrival of the second child. The older child often becomes aggressive, “acts out” or even regresses.  Regression means acting more like a baby—for example, by wanting a bottle, or peeing in their pants.  It’s important to prepare your older child when you know you are expecting a new baby.  Kids need to know what to expect, and they need time to adjust.  After your baby arrives, there are many things you can do to make the adjustment easier.  

Having a new baby in the family may be one of the tougher things your older child has to deal with.  However, it may eventually be one of the greatest gifts you can give them.

How can I prepare my child ahead of time for their new baby sibling? 
Here are some things you should do to help prepare your older child:

•               Tell your child about your pregnancy when you tell your friends.  Your child needs to hear about it from you, not from someone else.

•               If you plan to move your child to a new bed and/or bedroom, do so well before the baby arrives, so your older child doesn’t feel displaced by the baby.  This also goes for any other major changes, like weaning, toilet training, and starting preschool or child care.

•               Check with your hospital about sibling preparation classes and hospital tours.

•               Bring your child to prenatal visits so they can meet your birth attendant.

•               Give them a realistic idea of what to expect when the baby first arrives.  You will be tired, and the baby will take lots of your time.  The baby will not be able to do much at first, except eat, sleep, poop, pee and cry. The baby will not be a playmate.

•               Visit friends with a new baby, if possible. 

•               Read books about pregnancy, birth, newborns, and baby siblings with your child (see below for some suggestions).  Give them a chance to ask questions, voice concerns, and vent feelings inspired by the books.

•               Look at pictures/video of your older child’s birth and babyhood.  Tell them about their birth and what they were like as a baby.  Tell them how excited you were when they were born, and how everyone wanted to see them and hold them. 

•               Have your child practice holding a doll and supporting the head.  Teach them how to touch and hold a baby very gently.

•               Let them participate in preparations in any way possible.  Give them choices, such as choosing the baby’s coming home outfit from two acceptable options.

•               Should your child be present for the baby’s birth?  Many families have found this to be a very positive experience, but it is not necessarily right for every family. If you do decide to have your child at the birth, make sure you have an adult caregiver whose only job is to be there for the child. Prepare your child thoroughly, by watching videos of births with them, bringing them to midwife or OB appointments, and talking with them about what it may be like. It may be nice to give them a special, age-appropriate job, such as cutting the umbilical cord or putting on the hat.

Why is it hard for an older child to adjust to a new baby? 
There are many things that can contribute to a difficult adjustment:

•               Research indicates that a child’s personality has the most effect on how they react to a new baby.

•               Children with the closest relationships with their mothers show the most upset after the baby is born. 

•               Children with a close relationship with their father seem to adjust better.

•               Your child’s developmental stage may affect how well they can share your attention.  Often two-year-olds have lots of trouble getting used to a new baby, because their needs for time and closeness from their parents are still great.

•               Stress on the family can make your older child’s adjustment harder.

To get a sense of how your older child might feel about the addition of the new baby, imagine this:  
Imagine that your partner puts an arm around you and says, "Honey, I love you so much, and you're so wonderful that I've decided to have another wife (or husband or partner) just like you."  When the new wife (or husband or partner) finally arrives, you see that (s)he's very young and kind of cute. When the three of you are out together, people say hello to you politely, but exclaim ecstatically over the newcomer. "Isn't (s)he adorable! Hello sweetheart... You are precious!" Then they turn to you and ask, "How do you like the new wife (or husband or partner)?"  



How can I help my child adjust to the new baby once it’s here?

•               Set aside special time for your older child.  Each parent should spend some one-on-one with the older child every day.  It’s amazing how much even just 10 minutes of uninterrupted one-on-one time can mean to your child (and help their behavior!).  Let your child choose the activity, and you follow their lead.

•               Listen—really listen—to how your child feels about the baby and the changes in your family.  If they express negative feelings, acknowledge them.  Help your child put their feelings into words.  Never deny or discount your child’s feelings. 

•               Make sure it is very clear that absolutely no hurting is allowed.  Give your child other ways to express bad or angry feelings they may have toward the baby.  For example, they could draw an angry picture of the baby, or act out their wishes with dolls, or roar like a lion.

•               “Baby” your child, if that’s what they seem to crave.  This may help stave off regression in areas that are less acceptable to you.  There is a tendency to suddenly expect your child to become more independent when you have a new baby.  If you expect less independence, you are more likely to get more!

•               Have the new baby and older child exchange gifts.

•               Have some special “big brother” or “big sister” gifts to give your child as friends and relatives start showing up with baby gifts, so your older child won’t feel left out.

•               Remind visitors to pay attention to your older child, and not just the baby.

•               Make sure the older child has some special, private space, and things of their own that they don’t have to share with the baby.

•               Give them special jobs that they can do to help the family and help with the baby’s care (but don’t overdo it—take your cue from your child on this).

•               Let them participate in the baby’s care—baths, dressing, pushing the stroller, etc.

• Point out the benefits of being an older child, like choosing what to eat, being able to go the park and play, and having friends