Taking Care of Mom... Part 4

To end our series of Taking Care of Mom, I found an article on Parents.com that I thought made a lot of sense, "5 Reasons Why Moms Need Friends".  As a mom we get so involved in our kids and families daily lives that we forget to have a life. We lose contact with friends because we just don't slow down long enough to make a phone call. This article really made me think about what we as moms and women miss out on by losing contact with our friends and just how much friendships make a difference in our lives. I hope this article helps you to realize how important the role of a friend is in your life. Much Love, Bridget

5 Reasons Why Moms Need Friends

The morning after we moved into our new house, I woke up to shoulder-high stacks of boxes and promptly fled to the nearest cafe with my 3-year-old son. As I sat there moping over a lousy cup of tea, I spotted a mirror image: a woman, with a young son, who looked as stressed out as I felt. As our kids lined up chairs to make a train, she laughed and said, "We'll survive this day better if we sit together." Phoebe and I have been friends ever since, and my move -- which seemed so difficult at first -- ended up being a breeze.

My husband teased me that evening when I told him how relieved I was to have made a friend in our new town. He didn't really get it, I thought -- moms make friends not just because it's convenient, but because it's utterly essential to our health and happiness. Here are five reasons why.

1. They Help You De-Stress

Research supports what we already knew: When the going gets tough, guys grit their teeth, but we call our girlfriends. While men's bodies typically react to stress with a "fight or flight" response, women are hardwired to seek social contact with other women. "Our physical and mental health depend on having close relationships with people we can turn to, especially in times of crisis or stress," says Dana Crowley Jack, EdD, an expert on women's health at Western Washington University, in Bellingham. What's more, the quality of a mother's intimate relationships is one of the strongest predictors of her child's healthy development in the early years, she says. "Mothers of young children need to know they have someone to turn to when things seem overwhelming." Kate Lauer, of Brooklyn, considers herself a very private person, but knows she can tell her friend Helit anything. "She frequently reminds me to let my husband do things his own way when he's taking care of our 4-month-old daughter so that they can develop their own relationship," Lauer says. "When I talk things over with Helit, I always feel reassured."

2. They're Not Your Mother

Katie Martin, of Newburyport, Massachusetts, adopted her first child when he was 2 weeks old. Everything went smoothly until, late one night, she mixed up formula in a bottle with a plastic insert and warmed it in the microwave. "As I was feeding him, I noticed this tiny writing on the plastic that said 'Do Not Microwave,' and I absolutely panicked," she confesses. She immediately picked up the phone and called her mother, who said, "Honey, you'd better call somebody else. I haven't done this in a while."

Basics like bottles and diapers aren't what they used to be, and your friends can give advice on matters your mother never had to worry about. You may want to sleep with your infant or carry your toddler in a sling, while your mom argues that babies should stay in their cribs and make good use of that playpen. Or your mother may advocate staying home full-time, while you're already scouting out the best daycare. "No matter how hip she is, your mother probably has a selective memory about her own parenting track record," Dr. Jack says. Being a mom is more complicated than it once was, and we need our friends to remind us that we're not the only ones failing to meet some impossible ideal of motherhood. Finally, many of us, no matter how much we love our mothers, don't see them as paradigms of parenting. We want people who share our values, and sometimes that's just not Mom.

3. They're Always Brutally Honest

Should you invite 100 people to your 1-year-old's birthday party? Were you wrong to tell your mother-in-law that she can't feed your toddler hot dogs? How much should you spend on a present for your kid's preschool teacher? Can you wear that strapless black dress even though you haven't shed those last 15 pregnancy pounds? Your friends will give you the most truthful -- and tactful -- answers.

As a lawyer with a busy work schedule and three children, Alice Kornfeld, of Scarsdale, New York, depends on her friend Jill to give her the straight scoop. "Jill is home full-time and is totally on the pulse of what's going on in our community," says Kornfeld. "She's fabulous at etiquette, and she helps me realize what's appropriate. For example, yes, I do need to let my twins' classmates bring their older siblings to our birthday party -- that's just what people do in our town."

4. They Get It Like Your Husband Can't

Emmie Shields, of Redmond, Washington, describes her husband as "a totally sensitive guy." Still, after having her first child, she realized it was impossible for him to understand some of the things she was feeling. "That's why it's such a relief to talk to a mom friend who gets it," she says. Your husband faces an insurmountable gender gap when it comes to fully understanding why you worry about leaking breasts, blow-dry your hair before going to the grocery store, or lie awake at night because your daughter's preschool teacher called her "timid." But other mothers can validate the fact that mothering is hard work, says Pamela Jordan, PhD, author of Becoming Parents. "What's more, women who lack close friendships are sometimes so needy that it can create conflicts in their marriage," she adds. With a friend, there is no limit on how long you can analyze an awkward conversation you had with an intimidating mom, but drilling down on such details with your husband is not going to make for a fulfilling exchange.

5. They've Been There, Done That

It's great to be able to commiserate on a daily basis with mom friends who have kids at the same age and stage. But it's an added bonus to have friends with kids of different ages: "With friends whose children are younger than yours, you can be proud of what you've learned and appreciate what's gone by," says Dr. Jordan. Friends with older children can clue you in on what to expect.

Carmen O'Shea, of Flemington, New Jersey, is grateful to have met Nancy, a woman in her mothers' group whose son is older than O'Shea's daughter, Maddie. "It's incredibly helpful to see what Maddie's next step is going to be and also to realize that there's a big range in what's normal for babies," says O'Shea. She also joined a breastfeeding support group. "When Maddie was born, I thought I'd just give nursing a try, but now that I've been hanging around with moms who are still breastfeeding their 1-year-olds, they've inspired me to continue nursing too," she says.

Most important, though, many of the connections you make with other women through motherhood -- even if they started out at the playground -- may last a lifetime. "It's a wonderful camaraderie unlike anything else," says Katie Martin. "My mom friends and I started out going to each other for parenting advice, but now we talk about every aspect of our lives. I don't know what I'd do without them.”

Taking Care of Mom... Part 3

A happy mommy is a healthy mommy. Here are a few tips from whattoexpect.com that can help in making mommy feel more relaxed and happy. Much love, Bridget

What Moms Need —

7 Things That Make Mamas Happy

Your family gets constant mommy care, so why not save a little of that TLC for yourself?

No doubt you’ve got a lot on your plate…and no doubt your needs often slip to the bottom of your to-do list. But you’ll be a lot better equipped to take care of the million things in your busy life (including that adorable baby) if you take care of yourself as well. If your first reaction at the thought of putting yourself first is an instant case of the guilts, consider this simple mantra instead: “I count, too.” Then say those three little words every time you get the urge to skip any of these seven mommy-care musts.

Healthy foods at regular intervals.

You look at the clock and realize you’ve forgotten to eat lunch — again. Not good. While you might think the upside to meal-skipping is a quick way to lose weight, the opposite is true: Missing meals saps the energy you need to get through the day, and if you take in too few calories, your body will actually start to go into starvation mode, causing your metabolism to slow down and your fat to stick around even longer. A much better solution: Stock your kitchen with easy-to-grab eats — low-fat Greek yogurt, apples and bananas, sliced turkey, whole-grain bread and crackers, or whatever your good-for-you faves happen to be — and make sure to eat at least as often as your baby does.

A weekly date…with yourself.

Nab some time doing something that makes you feel good. It doesn’t matter what it is (or if it’s absolutely nothing) as long as it’s your choice. To make sure it happens, schedule the time on your calendar and consider that date sacred. Let your partner know he’s on duty or arrange a childcare swap with a friend. If your baby’s going to be home, it’s probably best if you do your thing elsewhere so you’re not tempted (or asked) to jump into the fray. Give yourself a couple hours of me-time a week (at least), and you’ll be a better mom when you’re back on duty.

Mini make-out sessions.

Date nights are great, but a quick kissing fix is the next best thing. Besides, it takes only a minute and the benefits are major: You reconnect with your mate and you both get an instant jolt of stress-melting joy. If that lip-lock in the kitchen sparks some loving in the bedroom later on, wonderful. If it doesn’t, no worries. The simple power of a kiss is worth seeking on its own — no sex required.

Girls' mani/pedis…or nights or brunches.

There’s nothing like hanging with pals you can laugh and/or vent with — preferably ones who know a thing or two about exploding diapers or ear-piercing tantrums. There are reams of research proving that people who have strong social ties are healthier and happier overall. And even if it’s nearly impossible to coordinate your schedules, you and your mommy friends can still reap the benefits by staying in touch virtually: Skyping and old-school chats on the phone count, too.

Face time with your doctor.

Sure, you saw your doc at your postpartum checkup, but it’s a good idea to stay in close-ish touch throughout the first year. Why? Your body and mind have a lot to get used to, and you’ll have tons of questions, like: What type of birth control is right for me now? I’ve been feeling really cranky and sad — could I have postpartum depression? What’s a healthy way to lose my baby weight? (And even if you gave birth to your youngest child several years ago, yearly exams are still a mommy-care must.)

A way to fit in fitness.

Getting off the couch once your tot’s down for the count may be the last thing you feel like doing, but exercise is a feel-good silver bullet. Physical activity boosts your energy and helps you shed post-baby pounds. It also soothes the blues, squashes stress, wards off colds, and helps you sleep more soundly. Can’t hit the gym? No problem. Just strap your sweetie in his stroller and start exploring your ’hood. Or consider forming a mommy walking (or running) group — it’s much harder to bail when you’ve got people counting on you to show up. Or make a nightly walk a family ritual so everyone reaps the benefits of a breezy evening stroll.

Family fun.

For new moms, a good day may be one in which everyone is basically clean, mostly fed, and generally tear-free. But it’s so important to find ways to bond and laugh as a family (and no, running errands with tots in tow doesn’t count). Find moments during your day to get a little zany — dance with your toddler, play a ten-minute game of tag, or have a picnic on the floor. You might have to temporarily lower your standards on some things, like having a spotless house, a perfectly mowed lawn, or a cooked-from-scratch supper. But the payoff in sweet memories is absolutely worth it — and exactly what moms need.

Taking Care of Mom... Part 2

There is nothing more annoying then being sick during the summer. But with the hustle and bustle of summer trips, water parks and flights this is the perfect time to catch a virus. I hope these tips I found on Pain.com and WebMD help. Much love, Bridget

The Dreaded Summer Cold

The common cold is not actually one disease, but a group of symptoms that can be caused by many different kinds of viruses. The most common and well-known virus type that causes cold symptoms is called rhinovirus. The most common effect of rhinovirus infection is the familiar group of cold symptoms, but rhinovirus can also cause some other problems such as ear infections and pneumonia in rare cases. Other viruses can also cause cold symptoms, including RSV, parainfluenza and coronavirus. It is often difficult to tell exactly which virus is causing someone’s cold symptoms, because some viruses are not as easily cultured in the lab as bacteria or even other types of viruses.

When a viral respiratory infection does occur, the typical cold symptoms that result are usually extremely annoying but not debilitating. Oddly enough, many cold viruses, especially rhinovirus, do not replicate as well inside of the body because the normal body temperature is above its optimum temperature for replication. Cold viruses proliferate better in the nasal cavity, where it is slightly cooler, and thus most of the symptoms of a cold are experienced in the upper respiratory tract. Common cold symptoms include: sneezing, runny nose, coughing, nasal congestion, sore throat, itching in the throat, eye watering, fatigue, slightly increased temperature, achiness and sinus headache.

Fatigue, headache and muscle aches caused by the common cold are often noticeable, but not as severe as they can be with many other illnesses, such as the flu. A person may feel generally “blah” and need to rest more than usual, but colds usually don’t prevent someone from most daily functions. Symptoms of a cold usually become noticeable a few days after a person is infected with a respiratory virus due to replication of the virus within the nasal cavity. Some of the symptoms of a cold, such as frequent sneezing, actually serve to transmit the virus to other people via respiratory droplets. Others are caused by the virus replicating or the immune system trying to fight the virus off. Some types of cold viruses, like RSV, cause mild cold symptoms in adults, but can cause more severe respiratory problems, such as viral pneumonia, in infants and young children.

Colds are usually considered a seasonal illness because they are more common in the winter months. However, it is possible to contract a cold any time of year, including during the summer. In fact, summer colds are fairly common, because rhinoviruses can easily infect people during the warmer times of the year and they are one of the most common cold culprits. Also, enteroviruses can cause colds during the summer months. Summer colds are often worse than winter colds in symptoms, and enteroviruses are often to blame for this. Summer colds may even last longer than winter colds, and it is more likely that a person will suffer from a summer cold, think that they have recovered from the infection and then start to suffer symptoms again in a few days.

Summer colds may be confused with seasonal allergy symptoms. The most common type of allergy in the summer months is allergic rhinitis due to ragweed pollen. Seasonal allergies have similar symptoms to the common cold, except they may last longer because allergies are not self-limiting like a cold is. Colds also tend to cause a lot more sneezing than seasonal allergies, and the mucus produced with a cold tends to be yellow or greenish in color, while the nasal discharge produced due to allergies tends to be colorless. Distinguishing between colds and seasonal allergies is important for relief of symptoms.

Summer colds may be unexpected and particularly annoying, but they are generally dealt with in the same manner as winter colds are. Medical treatment is not usually necessary for colds. If a person goes to the doctor with cold symptoms, some doctors may prescribe an antibiotic, but this is useless and potentially harmful because of the problem with antibiotic resistance of diseases. Relief from colds in both the winter and summer months is symptomatic and may involve over-the-counter medications and home remedies. For example, over-the-counter cough syrup can control cough. Cough drops or throat lozenges can soothe a sore throat. A solution of salt and water made at home can also be used for a sore throat; this solution should not be swallowed, but used as a rinse. Over-the-counter medications are also available to help with nasal congestion, runny nose, and other cold symptoms. Many medications are available to treat multiple cold symptoms at once. Be careful not to take more than one medication with the same ingredients, and follow dosage instructions carefully. If you have any questions about over-the-counter medications for cold symptoms, ask the pharmacist at the drug store for more information or call your doctor.

Taking care of Mom...

This week I will be discussing ways to take care of yourself as a mom... You can't take care of everyone if you can't seem to find time to care  for yourself. Sometimes as a mom we forget that we need to take a moment for ourselves and our well being. Much love, Bridget

Sleep

Importance of Sleep

Sleep is essential for a person’s health and wellbeing, according to the National Sleep Foundation (NSF). Yet millions of people do not get enough sleep and many suffer from lack of sleep. For example, surveys conducted by the NSF (1999-2004) reveal that at least 40 million Americans suffer from over 70 different sleep disorders and 60 percent of adults report having sleep problems a few nights a week or more. Most of those with these problems go undiagnosed and untreated. In addition, more than 40 percent of adults experience daytime sleepiness severe enough to interfere with their daily activities at least a few days each month - with 20 percent reporting problem sleepiness a few days a week or more. Furthermore, 69 percent of children experience one or more sleep problems a few nights or more during a week.

Signs of Excessive Sleepiness

According to psychologist and sleep expert David F. Dinges, Ph.D., of the Division of Sleep and Chronobiology and Department of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, irritability, moodiness and disinhibition are some of the first signs a person experiences from lack of sleep. If a sleep-deprived person doesn’t sleep after the initial signs, said Dinges, the person may then start to experience apathy, slowed speech and flattened emotional responses, impaired memory and an inability to be novel or multitask. As a person gets to the point of falling asleep, he or she will fall into micro sleeps (5-10 seconds) that cause lapses in attention, nod off while doing an activity like driving or reading and then finally experience hypnagogic hallucinations, the beginning of REM sleep. (Dinges, Sleep, Sleepiness and Performance, 1991)

Amount of Sleep needed

Everyone’s individual sleep needs vary. In general, most healthy adults are built for 16 hours of wakefulness and need an average of eight hours of sleep a night. However, some individuals are able to function without sleepiness or drowsiness after as little as six hours of sleep. Others can't perform at their peak unless they've slept ten hours. And, contrary to common myth, the need for sleep doesn't decline with age but the ability to sleep for six to eight hours at one time may be reduced. (Van Dongen & Dinges, Principles & Practice of Sleep Medicine, 2000)

How to get a good night sleep

According to sleep researchers, a night's sleep is divided into five continually shifting stages, defined by types of brain waves that reflect either lighter or deeper sleep. Toward morning, there is an increase in rapid eye movement, or REM sleep, when the muscles are relaxed and dreaming occurs, and recent memories may be consolidated in the brain. The experts say that hitting a snooze alarm over and over again to wake up is not the best way to feel rested. “The restorative value of rest is diminished, especially when the increments are short,” said psychologist Edward Stepanski, PhD who has studied sleep fragmentation at the Rush University Medical Center in Chicago. This on and off again effect of dozing and waking causes shifts in the brain-wave patterns. Sleep-deprived snooze-button addicts are likely to shorten their quota of REM sleep, impairing their mental functioning during the day. (New York Times, October 12, 2004)

Certain therapies, like cognitive behavioral therapy teach people how to recognize and change patterns of thought and behavior to solve their problems. Recently this type of therapy has been shown to be very effective in getting people to fall asleep and conquer insomnia.

According to a study published in the October 2004 issue of The Archives of Internal Medicine, cognitive behavior therapy is more effective and lasts longer than a widely used sleeping pill, Ambien, in reducing insomnia. The study involved 63 healthy people with insomnia who were randomly assigned to receive Ambien, the cognitive behavior therapy, both or a placebo. The patients in the therapy group received five 30-minute sessions over six weeks. They were given daily exercises to “recognize, challenge and change stress-inducing” thoughts and were taught techniques, like delaying bedtime or getting up to read if they were unable to fall asleep after 20 minutes. The patients taking Ambien were on a full dose for a month and then were weaned off the drug. At three weeks, 44 percent of the patients receiving the therapy and those receiving the combination therapy and pills fell asleep faster compared to 29 percent of the patients taking only the sleeping pills. Two weeks after all the treatment was over, the patients receiving the therapy fell asleep in half the time it took before the study and only 17 percent of the patients taking the sleeping pills fell asleep in half the time. (New York Times, October 5, 2004)

According to leading sleep researchers, there are techniques to combat common sleep problems:

            -Keep a regular sleep/wake schedule

            -Don’t drink or eat caffeine four to six hours before bed and minimize daytime use

            -Don’t smoke, especially near bedtime or if you awake in the night

            -Avoid alcohol and heavy meals before sleep

            -Get regular exercise

            -Minimize noise, light and excessive hot and cold temperatures where you sleep

            -Develop a regular bed time and go to bed at the same time each night

            -Try and wake up without an alarm clock

-Attempt to go to bed earlier every night for certain period; this will ensure that you’re getting enough sleep

Not much on a Monday...

I hope that all of my mommies had a wonderful Mother's Day!!

We had a wonderful weekend in Galveston... We got a chance to meet a penguin and paint with him!!! Such an awesome experience. We spent our weekend in a condo on the beach, visited Moody Gardens and just had a lot of family time.

A Calm Mom is a Super Mom...

Staying Calm with Your Kids

By: Victoria Samuel- Supernanny Expert

There’s nothing more frustrating than a kid who’s out to wind you up. Avoid mom meltdown with our stay-calm strategies…

Being a parent is rewarding and enjoyable – but it can also be very stressful and frustrating. Most of us feel wound up by our children’s behavior at times – and occasionally we explode. So how can we stay cool in the heat of the moment?

Work out the why…

The way you view your child’s behavior influences the effect it has on you. Relating what she does to her developmental stage can help you see her behavior in a less negative light.

•                It’s not deliberate Think your child is pressing those buttons on purpose? If you believe your child is deliberately seeking to upset you, then her behavior is bound to infuriate you. Let go of the idea that your baby or toddler is plotting to drive you crazy – this kind of manipulation is developmentally impossible in younger children, as it requires a child to be  able to understand that other people have beliefs and intentions different from their own. In developmental psychology this is called ‘theory of mind’ and it’s a relatively advanced type of thought process that doesn’t develop until a child is around 3 or 4 years of age.

•                Understand his impulses Try to view your toddler for what he is: a curious little person enjoying his new ability to get mobile and explore the fascinating world around him. Even if he’s causing havoc, remember that he simply doesn’t understand that his actions affect other people. He hasn’t developed self-control, so he’ll act on impulse. 

•                Curb your reaction If you have an older child who you feel is deliberately winding you up, try to look at why she may be doing it. Let’s face it: mom or dad flapping around in panic or frustration is a funny sight to a young child – and if she gets her own way at the end of it that’s even better. Perhaps she’s learnt that pushing you to the edge is the fastest way to get what she wants! Throw her off track by only paying attention to the positive behaviors you want to see more of. 

Dodge those bullets

If you can reduce the chances of meltdowns, tension and conflict in the first place there will be fewer chances of you reaching explosion point. Be aware that children readily absorb the emotionally climate around them – so if you’re wound up, so will they be.

•                Keep your stress a secret Use clear, brief, simple commands and keep your tone polite, calm but firm. Children will pick up on any hints of stress, wavering or anger in your voice and this may make them more agitated or more persistent.

•                Avoid sarcasm when speaking to your child. In the short term these kinds of comments will upset and provoke your child and in the long term they may cause a damaging erosion of their self-esteem. Plus, pretty soon he’ll be sending it right back atcha.

•                Coach yourself in complimenting Parents are often aware of the importance of praising good behavior, but feel resentful about dishing out compliments to the little terror who’s causing so much grief. Set yourself small goals – for example, you could initially aim to praise your child for four instances of good behavior a day, then gradually build on it. The more you praise, the more good behaviour you’ll see.

•                Hammer out house rules Agree a set of house rules and consequences – write these down and post them somewhere obvious. If you have a pre-agreed plan, your child knows where she stands, and you’re less likely to react hastily in the heat of moment.

•                Take me-time Set aside weekly relaxation time – this isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. It could be a massage, a walk, listening to music or just a relaxing bath. Set up a babysitting circle with a group of friends if you’re struggling with childcare.

Snip that snap reaction

Reacting in anger often leads to rash decisions and sometimes aggressive responses such as shouting, smacking or hastily imposing extreme discipline. The result: you’re left feeling guilty and your child is left feeling upset and anxious. It’s fine to feel angry but it’s important to not let it control you.

•                Tune into early warning signs that you’re getting annoyed such as your heart racing, feeling shaky or getting sweaty. Whenever you notice those signs kicking in, stop what you’re doing and try to look objectively at what has wound you up – this will help you to feel more in control.

•                Avoid attacks State your feelings without attacking. Use ‘when’ and ‘then’: “When you call me names I get upset.” 

•                Don’t debate it Now is not a good time to get into a debate. Show willingness to resolve things but just not now: “We can talk about this tomorrow over breakfast, but right now I’m feeling too wound up.”

•                Take a time-out If your child is safe, remove yourself from the situation so you can cool off. Take deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth, trying to slow your breath as much as possible. Try clenching your hands tight as you breathe in then releasing them as you breathe out. This will turn down your body’s fight-flight response and makes you feel calmer. 

•                Distract yourself If you can’t leave your child, use distraction techniques (counting, reciting song lyrics or a poem in your head) to stop yourself from reacting rashly. Use positive self-talk – say to yourself, “I’m doing the best I can” or “Keep calm!”

•                Displace your anger with whatever works for you – vacuuming, singing along to a favourite song, doing exercise. Some parents find it useful to keep a journal to jot down how they feel after angry outbursts. This is a useful way to vent your emotion and also may be helpful in revealing any recurrent patterns in you and your child’s behaviors. 

Seek help If you find you are regularly losing control of your anger and it feel like nothing is helping, you may benefit from seeking some professional support and advice.

Such sage advice found on Supernanny.com! How many times have you lost your composure and felt awful, guilty, angry at yourself afterwards. I hoping these tips can help out. Much Love, Bridget

A Super Mom's Morning...

             I know that mornings set the tone for the day and often a mom's morning is a complete haze and flustered. I found this article on BABYFit.com and felt it had some great tips on how to get your mornings to runs a bit smoother. I have tried these for the last 2 days and THEY WORKED!!! I have been at work and at my desk for the last 2 mornings five minutes early. I have arrived at work and not felt like I just ran a marathon... who knew that adding an extra 15 minutes to my morning could make such a huge impact. Give it a try! Much Love, Bridget

8 Ways to Ease the Working Mom's Morning Routine

Tested Techniques and Tips to End A.M. Chaos

-- By Hillary Copsey, BabyFit Contributor from BabyFit.com

1.             Getting up early.
As a parent, you probably already are waking at an hour many people don't realize exists. But sometimes even 15 extra minutes can make things run more smoothly. Figure out how much time you need to get everyone up, fed and dressed, then set your alarm for 15 minutes before that. That time is a cushion. On a good morning, it means 15 minutes to play together or savor your coffee. On a bad morning, it means you're only five minutes behind schedule. 


2.             Making everyone help. 
My husband packs lunches every night. Even if he doesn't always hit all the major food groups, it's packed and ready, and that's what matters. My toddler carries his lunch bag into school, even if it means we walk a little slower. Even the baby is asked to "hang tight" for five minutes in the evenings while I get a snack for his brother and put away the breast milk I pumped at work. 


3.             Tag-teaming. 
I shower while the husband gets breakfast for the toddler. He showers while I nurse the baby. The husband holds the baby while I fix the toddler's dinner plate. He scrubs the dishes while I scrub the boys. 


4.             Encouraging independence. 
If you have a toddler, you have a child old enough to follow simple directions. My oldest son likes to put away his shoes and climb into his car seat. It isn't always as fast as I would like, but it frees me up to take care of the kid who can't help himself. He also is great entertainment for the baby, provided I can keep one eye on them and am within yelling distance to say, "EASY! You have to be gentle with your brother." 


5.             Using our appliances. 
Our slow cooker has taken up permanent residence on our counter. Between frozen leftovers from extra-large weekend meals and breastmilk, our freezer has never been this full. But with a little extra prep work and help from modern technology, I've managed to put a home-cooked dinner on the table even on the nights the baby needs to eat as soon as we get home. 


6.             Putting everything in place. 
Nothing throws off a schedule faster than lost keys or a missing blanky. All bags are packed the night before and put in their respective homes --lunches and bottles in the fridge; pump on the counter, purse and diaper bag in the bedroom. In the morning, while the toddler eats and before the baby is up, I gather everything but my purse--which is my last-minute dumping ground --into the car so it can't be left in the out-the-door whirlwind. 


7.             Giving two-minute warnings. 
Kids handle transitions from one thing to the next better when they know what's coming. By giving our toddler a steady countdown to time to go or time for dinner, the husband and I also keep ourselves on track. 


8.     Making every minute count. 
Quality time is any time you and your kids are in the same place. Rushing from home to work and back again, it's easy to feel like you have no time with your kids. But you do, if you just take the time to notice it. We sing songs in the car and play I-spy to practice colors. The husband and I flirt over the boys' heads at the supper table.